inside this acorn
old, cracked, dormant under snow
something stirs that’s new
***for Audra and the Panda, as well as HH!
Go away and stop being better than me… smell bag!! 😉
LOL, how did you guess I have not found the shower yet? 😉
smell bag?? you call me a calf and her a smell bag?
LOL, that’s Panda charm for you…
Sorry!? where does it say on my site that I’m fair – or nice – or any of that?! 😉
Uhh ohh–please don’t bite Audra, Panda–I try to keep this a relatively violence-free blog 😉
then why are you saying sorry… what sa matta can’t take a little ribbing?
LOL, Audra–YOU don’t get to bite the panda either 😉
Bite the Panda? does he taste like chicken?
ROFL. Not sure. Let’s ask him.
I taste like love and pancakes! And biting me will only turn me on! 😉
Oh, YUM Now, stop tempting me, you respectably married brit…
No, I shall abstain from even the tiniest nibble.
oh yum.. pancakes and love. Your wife is a lucky woman
well, maybe a little. He might enjoy it.
Ribbing sounds good… with BBQ sauce?
as long as it is a spicey 🙂
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And at some indeterminate date ahead, might loom large in memories from someone’s childhood.
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I loved this Susan!
Audrey, thank you!
Wonderfully evocative haiku Susan. Well done.
Terry, thank you
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mmm inside this acorn – a powerful line… old and cracked promising something new. wonderful.
Oh, thank you, Jane. A bunch of us ended up writing acorn haiku today, for no other reason than we were challenged to do so. Please join us if you’d like.
thank you, Susan!!
I love your haiku, so I would be the one doing the thanking
Can I try? – I haven’t done one before – in fact still reading up on what a Haiku should be! 5 word line then 7 then 5?
Yes–go for it, except it is syllables and not words–have fun!
so words cannot be more than 7 syllables each – sorry 😦
nope–it is like this:
first line 5 syllables
second line 7 syllables
third line 5 syllables
Hope this helps I like to view haiku as snapshots of perfect moments, taken with words, if that helps.
Thanks Susan – I shall attempt..
Great Enjoy–I love writing those little gems of poetry.
so do we have to strictly go by the amount of syllables, I have noticed in yours you have 3, 5 etc.. just trying to get this in my head better..
if we are going formal haiku, try to stick to the 5-7-5 line format or the 3-5-3. If however, you want to freewheel it a bit, just keep the whole poem to under 7 syllables. Make sense?
Perfect – thank you so much 🙂
Great–can’t wait to see what you cook up!
don’t expect miracles here! 😉
Just expecting you to have fun and I will enjoy the result.
Here goes – PLEASE critique?
Giant peaks acorn found
Cracked, exposed, barren
Gelid times,stiff solid
Hmmm. Interesting take. You have made it small, and I like the rhythm of it. But, try this. Try to think about walking up the peak, how does it feel? Now write that in 5 syllables or less. Now, describe encountering the acorn, perhaps wedged between rocks on the slope, and try to tell us that in 7 syllables. And bring it all home, suggesting the gelid times. Like the core of this. So…something like
climbing the mountain
an acorn, cracked, exposed raw
no place for growth here
go for the visual, and just a bit of telling.
Lordy you make it sound and look so easy 😦 …ok Take 2 coming up… I hope 😉
Oh, you’re getting there. Try to capture one moment, one image. The beauty of haiku is that capture of something superficially beautiful and spiritually resonating at the same time, of that makes sense. Haiku is a snippet of zen.
I think I’m concentrating too much on the syllables arghh!
Thanks for your guidance.
You are most welcome–just try to catch something small, and roll with it. Worry about the syllables later.
Forged and weary mountain climb
Acorn death lain open bare
Empty shell broken rests in gelid tarns
Ok I’ve lost the plot completely!
This is so difficult – and I thought it would be simple! 😉
Oh, but you are SO getting there.
I am going to play along with this–you might enjoy:
Ok popping over and giving it a whirl! Heaven help the readers!
Oh and thank you!
New silent life hidden everywhere, surrounding us, under our feet, inside tiny things…, can we feel it? Lovely, Susan.
Happy New Year!
Oh, Dulcina, thank you–and a happy new year to you too!
Susan i thought I had commented yesterday when I came here. The net was so slow that I fell asleep behind the laptop 🙂 This haiku gives me the idea of something slowly stirring to life adn then suddenly, bam! it is there, a new creation. Wonderfully written, as always. Wonderful new year to you, Susan 🙂
Thank you, my dear…wonderful reaction–I am glad this one was so evocative for you–means I did my job well. Happy new year I believe you will see 2013 about seven hours before I do 😉
That is right. 🙂
The haiku brought out the essence of life nicely, there is always something new round the corner:)
beautiful haiku depicting possibilities of life…very well crafted!
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