Dormancy (a triolet)

What waitsΒ to stir beneath snow
is more than old leaves and mud;
life folded, patient and slow
(is) what waits to stir beneath snow
shifts in its sleep, hungry to grow
the dreams seeds own, impatient to bud
what waits to stir beneath snow
is more than old leaves and mud

 

***for Dverse

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About Susan L Daniels

I am a firm believer that politics are personal, that faith is expressed through action, and that life is something that must be loved and lived authentically--or why bother with any of it?
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77 Responses to Dormancy (a triolet)

  1. boomiebol says:

    I believe there is more to this… I like much

  2. Oh I can’t wait for it to be spring! So tired of these cold dark days! Let’s see what’s underneath!

  3. Alice says:

    Do you like the more structured forms of poetry or free verse? This is very nice—well, I hate the word nice–skilled, well-crafted–thoughtful.

    • Thank you, Alice. I like some formed poetry–like the triolet and the pantoum–they keep the wordsmithing honed, I think. I do, however, find poetry forms much more satisfying to read, while I gasp and admire the poet’s skill, much more than I enjoy actually writing in forms. I lack discipline, I fear, to do them justice.

  4. Jeremy Nathan Marks says:

    I like this structure quite a lot. The repetition here makes me think that everything waiting to stir is actively waiting, its beating heart pushing through your words. πŸ™‚

    • Thank you, Jeremy. This is a form I just recently discovered, and I really like how it works. This is one instance where rhyming did not give me a rash–which is odd… Interestingly, the only forms I really like (and use on purpose) are the ones that use repetition.

      • Jeremy Nathan Marks says:

        The repetition really works well here. I think what I like so much about it as a device (here and elsewhere) is it provides a tightness of structure when used properly. I hesitate to say “properly” but I think I can sense when something is being used to full effect. . . thus I really like this.

        • Oh, thank you! Yes, when used to maximum, the repetitions can hammer a point home (albeit gently), or pulse steadily beneath winter. I could see you using this, if you ever stray from your free verse eloquence–would work well for a dream sequence, or something centered around your bear. I imagine you could even use the structure without the rhyme to excellent effect.

  5. Rhonda says:

    this reminds me of another form…whose name is not as easily recalled as this one would be…(for obvious and definitely juvenile reasons)…but i like as much. i like!

  6. ayala says:

    Lovely poem! wishing you a Happy New Year!

  7. Green Speck says:

    Very true … loved it !!!

  8. Lovely write! Liked this a bunch!

  9. claudia says:

    life folded, patient and slow…the seeds…the longing to burst forth new life…so much slumbering under the snow for sure…waiting for its time to come…this is lovely susan

  10. ah its life waiting its turn, already growing in the earth womb for its time to burst forth in brilliant colors…smiles….it will come…

  11. Mary says:

    Very fine triolet. Indeed….there is always new life waiting for the change of season. Definitely more than old leaves and mud!

  12. janehewey says:

    such excitement and deep hope. a beautiful form to scaffold your gentle words.

  13. nelle says:

    So much lies beyond our sight. Love your exploration of such things and places.

  14. Laurie Kolp says:

    Ahh, yes. Happy New Year!

  15. Grace says:

    Nice work on the form ~ I see that we wrote about winter and seeds ~

    Happy New Year ~

  16. vivinfrance says:

    The triolet really suits this mood, nature being cyclical.

  17. glynfedwards says:

    more snow! you have an addiction. great poem.

  18. I can see the magic beneath the snow in your words. Nice poem.

  19. Just as with all of your poems, this one emanates spiritual depth. I love the anticipation, as well as how it translates metaphorically to the human experience. So many of us have, at some point in our lives, felt this way. Love it πŸ™‚

  20. Susan I love this gentle scratch beneath the surface.
    Cheers,
    Delaina

  21. ruleofstupid says:

    If you could just be an offensive human being
    I could tolerate your talent more easily
    But then DAMN YOU
    You have to be such a good person too.
    πŸ˜€

  22. Springing forth new life – (my interpretation at least) very nicely done πŸ™‚

  23. Nara Malone says:

    Beautifully crafted. I admire your skill with a form more difficult that you make it appear.

  24. When you really stop to think about the seasons and how amazing they are, it can be quite awe-inspiring. I’m always trying to enjoy the beauty in each one instead of wishing for the next one’s arrival. Sometimes it’s hard though πŸ™‚

  25. Kelvin S.M. says:

    ..i loved this Susan… the refraining lines are unforgettable…i could listen to this all day.. happy new year.. smiles..

  26. Miriam E. says:

    Susan, this is so wonderful! “life folded, patient and slow” – how beautiful is this?
    loved what you did here… very sweet.

  27. David King says:

    So simple – and so good!

  28. Is this as far as you go with this one? More to come?

  29. The triolet form is so perfect for this beautiful poem, Susan. We are all covered with snow now, too, and it’s so good to think of all the activity going on “within.”

  30. stuartmcphersonpoet says:

    Firstly- so sorry i’m late & happy new year. lovely triolet. I always admire poets/poetry that manages to capture so much within a particular form. Its hard (well, I find it hard anyway!) Really enjoyed the sentiment of change as captured in the seasons change. As a wider metaphor, i read it as (because of the snow) applying to someone with a cold exterior, maybe an unhappy person, but how within us all we possess the ability to change our feelings if we really want to.

  31. I wanted to comment on some of your older poems but was told that comments were closed. Oh well, too bad. I guess I will just have to like them. This is very nice, by the way.

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