Before you envision an us,
before you stroke emotions further
in a masturbation without release, a frictioned
fictioned state of caging behind
bars you gilt edge and name unrequited,
I should tell you
loves-me/loves-me-not outcomes
are fixed before beginning:
petals plucked honestly come out even and always
on the not side of the slash. The heart
flips like a trick coin and we call it midair
when the outcome is statistically predetermined
falling.
Susan Daniels Poetry 
Oh wow this reads with quite a punch Susan. Fantastic
Gretchen, thank you! It’s been simmering a while. Watched something about unrequited love a few weeks ago, and after that, this started bubbling.
Stunning! I especially like the phrase ‘frictioned / fictioned state of caging’ great alliteration / assonance / consonance ~ drips from the lips 🙂
Oh, thank you Polly! I liked playing with the words here 😉
Frictioned fictioned state.– perfect. This is superb.
Thanks, Audra. All red now…
i loved this Susan.
Redder still. Thanks, Audra.
🙂
This is strong! Victims of unrequited love are first and foremost victims of their own imaginations and flawed cravings? The words are all beautiful, though in a sad way, but these lines
you stroke emotions further
in a masturbation without release, a frictioned
fictioned state
na killi-me-die dem be!
When I become a poet, I hope to be able to sing with word like you do!
Oh, you! You already do–I stole that particular alliterative device from you–like stoke/stroke, fictioned/frictioned is folded in your poetic wallet. Well, actually, I should say it was…If you take a peek, I think you will find that a New York poet has deftly picked your pocket 😉
how can one pick pocket what she inspired in part in many ways?
😉 thanks…
“loves-me/loves-me-not outcomes” – black and white. brutally true. good job!
Thank you!
Love this susan–in so many ways. Honest, hard, real. How deterministic life can be when we are caught in loops…
Hi JCC! Yes, I have been caught in a few of those loops myself..
My goodness, Susan, I do very much enjoy reading such a cold splash of reality in the morning. No, not splash. What’s the word I was looking for? Oh yes–slap!
.Oh, I hope it did not hit too hard, George (this from one incurable romantic to another!).
Oh, not too hard at all, Susan. I know, I’m a wee sook at times, but I held up well enough. It was one of those times, reading “what it isn’t,” when I felt an anger, a hurt in your words, but at the same time, thanks to your (as always) wonderfully creative choice of words, I couldn’t help but smile while reading them. I must be in a right mood this morning. 😉
I always love your comments, George. The idea for this started after watching “In the Land of Women.”
Powerful
Thanks, C.
Each of your words is a slam of brilliance against my unprepared mind 🙂 Wow and WOW!
Oh, wow. Don’t know what to say but thank you!
trick cain, midair ~ awesome !
This is an interesting poem, Susan. Especially because I see a contrast here between a circle of feelings and a linear, masturbatory and self-serving linear view of love.
In other words, the linear way says: I want this from you and so the coin is called in the air.
The circular way says: I will love you in my own time and in my own seasons.
Jeremy–you got this. Thank you for the wonderful comment (as always).
My pleasure. You have some great moments in your writing-
Now you have made me blush, Jeremy. Really appreciate your take.
🙂
as always, you inspire me!
Oh, so glad to hear that!
So much of this, I needed. Craved it like oasis, I am settled down into these words now, bathing in them. Oh, they comfort my wounds, to know how you know them.
Oh, Shrinks, glad they helped. So much of what we call love is anything but.