I’ve drawn people in scribbles
and had them taped up
on my mother’s refrigerator
and maybe I am
a decent kitchen poet,
a step or two above hallmark
but stop telling me
you love my good enough–
that this is as deep as I can dive
or that this okayness
will bloom to better on its own–
it won’t
the pictures on the refrigerator
are stick figures needing meat
over their bones
hungry to swallow the moon
or shadow the sun,
so if you keep these somewhere unbarred
be ready for what’s wild, once fleshed
to slide down that door
wrap around your ankles
and trip you up
Susan Daniels Poetry 
This is definitely not a Hallmark thought! Nicely layered textures and with a wild bite.
Thanks, David! I hope your shots are up to date–not sure this one has ever been to a vet 😉
Words and pictures coming to life in a way that challenges the unsuspecting viewer… I like it!
Thanks, Holly. Yes, it is past time I posted a warning label 😉
Something about these lines, “hungry to swallow the moon
or shadow the sun” made me pause. So lovely!
Thanks, Danny.
Oh yes! I partially swooned over this one. I love love the instincts you are showing here, the primal stuff. I want more of that. We need more of that. And here I was expecting a touching but eloquent reminiscence of a refrigerator….. and this is what we get instead. My only suggestion is to add “and kick you in the head” at the end. My head feels duly kicked. I foresee great things for you Susan – you already have the writing chops, you just got to delve into the dark side some more. Or the light side. Or whatever. Just delve!
Trent–thanks! I do agree it needs a stronger close. I had something else and it was just ICK, so I zapped it. Hmmm, would this poetry kick, or bite, or scratch. I can’t decide where I want to take this ferality.
Nah don’t worry about ferality or anything like that, just go full bore. With your talent, you could BE the refrigerator and I’d still read it. In fact, I’d be more apt to read it.
Oh, I like the idea–did you see the poem where Bruce had his washing machine out running wild in the fields? You should look it up.
I’ll look it up. But I think the trick might be to do the piece in seriousness. If you can convince people of the absurd, make it real, that’s a neat trick. I think you could do it. But nevertheless, am happy with this Refrigerator Poem. I think you may have invented a new genre.
I like the idea of personification of the objects we take for granted–not writing about something but being it. You have my mind wrapping around this idea. I like it!
Refrigerators have feelings too. Perhaps depraved ones. Some might dream of Aruba, and waves, just to get away from the cold. Others might chose an Arctic locale, so that their services would no longer be required. But all would like to be empty – free from spoiled milk and yellowish broccoli. It’s not so much to ask. And in the spirit of depravity, if they could just for once masturbate in private, that would be okay too.
YES! Anything but this constant quiet humming in the corner that wants to scream.
I say what Trent says… 🙂 cause he says it so much better than I ever could 🙂
LOL, thanks, Audra.
Just love this somewhat feisty message, Susan! I’m settling in the desert now and have your poems at the top of my to do pile!
Thank you Victoria! Say hi to the sun and the heat for me…
Digging in!
Yay–thank you.
Your mind and the way you think seems to tap into many different hallmarks of consciousness creation and subconsciousness alleviation. I so respect you as a damn good writer that you are. I’m so glad we are friends. 🙂
Thanks, Charlie. Yet, I keep skimming the surface. I need to dive. Glad I met you and your work, as well.
Ow Susan, This is good
Thanks, C.
ah Susan, so vivid and strong. love the ‘what is to come’ in here – go you!! 😀
Thanks, Miriam. Just going to go ahead and dive 😉
the best way to go about things. awesome.
🙂
Susan this was very good. I liked it, especially how it begins so benignlly and changes its tone at the end.>KB
Thanks, KB. I do think it needs some teeth at the end, somehow. I was hoping sleeping on it would help, but apparently all I did was dream about arguing with people in a mall…Heh.
Quite playful, lurking and ready to spring to life. Heh, fun.
Thanks, Nelle. I enjoyed the sneak from awww–look what my mommy used to do to-careful, it bites!
Hello lovely lady, I’m sorry I disappeared before we could write our skank girl/man epic! I’ve had flu and it’s been really nasty…have missed you and the other iron poets though. This is great: I think i know what you’re getting it. Agree that it needs a stronger ending though: tripping up is not enough but biting might do it! I’m going to have a go at something tonight: will send it to you first if you still want to play…hugs FatW
FatW–of COURSE I want to play… I think this is going to be tons of fun! So–I will copy what you have into a draft, and play away. I will send it your way via WordPress. Hope you are feeling better. As far as this fridge piece goes–it needs to do something dangerous–it is not just a bad kitty tripping mommy 😉