What waits to stir beneath snow
is more than old leaves and mud;
life folded, patient and slow
(is) what waits to stir beneath snow
shifts in its sleep, hungry to grow
the dreams seeds own, impatient to bud
what waits to stir beneath snow
is more than old leaves and mud
***for Dverse
Susan Daniels Poetry 
I believe there is more to this… I like much
Know what, Boomie–you might be right. I might have to expand this to 2 stanzas, but now it’ll have to be after work. Sigh…
Here you go!
Oh I can’t wait for it to be spring! So tired of these cold dark days! Let’s see what’s underneath!
Yes! Want to see it.
Do you like the more structured forms of poetry or free verse? This is very nice—well, I hate the word nice–skilled, well-crafted–thoughtful.
Thank you, Alice. I like some formed poetry–like the triolet and the pantoum–they keep the wordsmithing honed, I think. I do, however, find poetry forms much more satisfying to read, while I gasp and admire the poet’s skill, much more than I enjoy actually writing in forms. I lack discipline, I fear, to do them justice.
I like this structure quite a lot. The repetition here makes me think that everything waiting to stir is actively waiting, its beating heart pushing through your words. 🙂
Thank you, Jeremy. This is a form I just recently discovered, and I really like how it works. This is one instance where rhyming did not give me a rash–which is odd… Interestingly, the only forms I really like (and use on purpose) are the ones that use repetition.
The repetition really works well here. I think what I like so much about it as a device (here and elsewhere) is it provides a tightness of structure when used properly. I hesitate to say “properly” but I think I can sense when something is being used to full effect. . . thus I really like this.
Oh, thank you! Yes, when used to maximum, the repetitions can hammer a point home (albeit gently), or pulse steadily beneath winter. I could see you using this, if you ever stray from your free verse eloquence–would work well for a dream sequence, or something centered around your bear. I imagine you could even use the structure without the rhyme to excellent effect.
I might have to try that. 🙂 I definitely welcome the suggestion!
Great–look forward to seeing what you come up with, if you do try it out.
this reminds me of another form…whose name is not as easily recalled as this one would be…(for obvious and definitely juvenile reasons)…but i like as much. i like!
Thank you Are you thinking of pantoum? Because I really like the repetitive forms, a lot. Look, SFAM–I even rhymed…
Yes… Triolet/toilet…
YES…how could I forget the pantaloon. And I knew you had a rhyming rhythm in there…I just knew it! 🙂
Hee, hee
Lovely poem! wishing you a Happy New Year!
Ayala, thank you, and wishing you all the best for 2013.
Very true … loved it !!!
Thanks, GS–hey–I have missed you!
Lovely write! Liked this a bunch!
Thanks, Audrey. It was a fun write.
life folded, patient and slow…the seeds…the longing to burst forth new life…so much slumbering under the snow for sure…waiting for its time to come…this is lovely susan
Thank you, Claudia. Great subject for today
ah its life waiting its turn, already growing in the earth womb for its time to burst forth in brilliant colors…smiles….it will come…
Yes, it will–the promise of the evergreen from the solstice…
Very fine triolet. Indeed….there is always new life waiting for the change of season. Definitely more than old leaves and mud!
Thanks so much, Mary. Yes, under winter, spring waits…
such excitement and deep hope. a beautiful form to scaffold your gentle words.
Jane, thank you. I love those two words–deep hope. Hope should always be deep–not necessarily buried or hidden, but still close to the bone and nourished there.
So much lies beyond our sight. Love your exploration of such things and places.
Nelle, thank you. So much of winter involves the wait for spring, I fear I miss much of what the snowy season has to offer.
Ahh, yes. Happy New Year!
You too, Laurie!
Nice work on the form ~ I see that we wrote about winter and seeds ~
Happy New Year ~
🙂 same to you, Grace. I am at the moment salivating over seed catalogs…
The triolet really suits this mood, nature being cyclical.
Thanks, Viv–it just seemed to fit so well, I had to do it.
more snow! you have an addiction. great poem.
Hahaha–someone make it STOP. There has to be a 12-step program for a poet hooked on an image.
I can see the magic beneath the snow in your words. Nice poem.
Gretchen, thank you so much!
Just as with all of your poems, this one emanates spiritual depth. I love the anticipation, as well as how it translates metaphorically to the human experience. So many of us have, at some point in our lives, felt this way. Love it 🙂
Heather, thank you so much. I am humbled by what you have to say here.
Susan I love this gentle scratch beneath the surface.
Cheers,
Delaina
Thanks Delaina.
If you could just be an offensive human being
I could tolerate your talent more easily
But then DAMN YOU
You have to be such a good person too.
😀
Oh, I am a bitch most of the time 😉
Springing forth new life – (my interpretation at least) very nicely done 🙂
You got it, Jen. Life waiting impatiently under the snow–sleeping lightly, but dreaming what it can become when it wakes up.
Beautifully crafted. I admire your skill with a form more difficult that you make it appear.
Nara, thank you.
When you really stop to think about the seasons and how amazing they are, it can be quite awe-inspiring. I’m always trying to enjoy the beauty in each one instead of wishing for the next one’s arrival. Sometimes it’s hard though 🙂
It is–I should try to celebrate winter…I should try to celebrate winter…Crap. No matter how many times I repeat it, it just rings false to me. I SO love spring.
..i loved this Susan… the refraining lines are unforgettable…i could listen to this all day.. happy new year.. smiles..
Kelvin–thank you so much! That’s wonderful to hear 😉
Happy new year to you too!
Susan, this is so wonderful! “life folded, patient and slow” – how beautiful is this?
loved what you did here… very sweet.
Miriam, thank you so much!
So simple – and so good!
David, thank you!
Is this as far as you go with this one? More to come?
Maybe there will be more–I had to take the day off from writing about snow before someone on here scheduled an intervention 😉
heh-heh … you mean you have a life away from blogging????? heh-heh …
I’m being naughty here, Susan. Your work is always so interesting, it’s unusual for me to feel there’s something you haven’t yet said in a poem. This one seems to be begging for something more … is it just me?
Nope–Boomie said it too, so I think there is more coming 😉
Yay! 🙂
Here you go, Polly
The triolet form is so perfect for this beautiful poem, Susan. We are all covered with snow now, too, and it’s so good to think of all the activity going on “within.”
Oh, thank you so much, Victoria! I really enjoyed playing with this form, and Boomie and Polly challenged me to give them more with this, so I actually expanded it to a double triolet with a couplet. Wow. My brain hurts even thinking about it…
I agree, I am thinking about all that’s going on underneath. Here is the expanded version, if you want to take a peek.
Firstly- so sorry i’m late & happy new year. lovely triolet. I always admire poets/poetry that manages to capture so much within a particular form. Its hard (well, I find it hard anyway!) Really enjoyed the sentiment of change as captured in the seasons change. As a wider metaphor, i read it as (because of the snow) applying to someone with a cold exterior, maybe an unhappy person, but how within us all we possess the ability to change our feelings if we really want to.
Stu–happy new year to you, and of course, your wonderful comment was worth the wait–and yes, you really got this 😉
I wanted to comment on some of your older poems but was told that comments were closed. Oh well, too bad. I guess I will just have to like them. This is very nice, by the way.
Oh, thank you, Celestine. I am closing comments on old posts so I get less spam, but I am sorry you were not able to comment 😉
Too bad for me, I say. I’ve been slow in getting to the various blogs what with the usual excuses. 🙂
LOL, you are allowed to be late–you have a quixotic power supply, etc. Glad you read them!
I love that. ‘quixotic powerf supply’ I am going to use this in my speech here. For sure 🙂
Hee, hee. I am off to get coffee…