because I and you
melt & diffuse
into an us
of limitless joy
Thank you–trying to distill…
Beautifully, simultaneously spare and deep.
Thank you–sometimes I try to say a lot with very little
usually I fail, and say little with a lot 🙂
Intense! deep! short, to the point, but says too much! Susan has written yet another beautiful song!
Incidentally I find the earlier draft with melt more powerful! so what about melt and diffuse into an us – as this could capture all of the the physics and psychology of why people love?
You are making Susan blush with your lush praise of such a spare poem 🙂 reading it that way:
Does not in any way inhibit the pronoun play, and does add a lovely depth.
Think it’s growing from 11 to 13 words now!
you should have seen me “blush” as I made that suggestion! yes I was flush with lush blush, and in vain did I rush to crush the colors drain wash! LOL
lovely assonance–and now we are both laughing harder than we blushed (I think)….
you are clairvoyant, or is this ESP? yes, I was and am still laughing and loud!
Hey–counting on my fingers, it’s late in your corner of the world–thanks for reading & commenting on these 2 poems so late…. Almost the 15th where you are
almost there, 15th knocks softly on the window pane waiting anxiously but patientlyto be invited in!
Hmmm–let’s go with guessing we have similar natures, and if we are as similar as I think we are, you had to be laughing 🙂
Yes, better to call it a lucky guess that give credit to those shaky, shady, unpredictable intuitions.
Truth so wholly and beautifully said in such a small number of words.
Thank you so much–the simple beauty of your poetry inspired this style, so very glad you like it.
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