mortality (a sedoka)

the raspberry leaves
serrated, corrugated
fall with whispers of autumn

she knows she’s dying
she says, but doesn’t feel it
in her bones, at least not yet

 

For dVerse.

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About Susan L Daniels

I am a firm believer that politics are personal, that faith is expressed through action, and that life is something that must be loved and lived authentically--or why bother with any of it?
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42 Responses to mortality (a sedoka)

  1. claudia says:

    sometimes i do feel my mortality and it frightens me a bit…love the raspberry leaves in this..

  2. brian miller says:

    its the difference between the heart and the mind eh? we logically know but are not ready to accept it…love the texture in the first stanza…the serrated/corrugated..that whole stanza, i like much.

  3. Rhonda says:

    Oh Susan…I do LOVE this.. tweeted! love the metaphors here.

  4. Mary says:

    This took my breath away. Just can’t imagine KNOWING one is dying.

  5. This can be read in several ways. Either someone is close to dying or it’s more fatality,,, we are all dying. Love that you leave it open ended.

  6. Grace says:

    I love the imagery of raspberry leaves ~ Beautiful sedoka Susan ~

  7. Mama Zen says:

    This is really gorgeous, Susan.

  8. Tony Maude says:

    Lovely image of the raspberry leaves, and thesecond stanza is so poignant.

  9. wolfsrosebud says:

    loved the hope in this

  10. Laurie Kolp says:

    Thought-provoking and powerful.

  11. Yeah, Susan, you did a Sedoka, and did it beautifully. I love this. As a former hospice nurse I’ve learned that people who are dying accept what they can when they can. It’s all so individual.

  12. nico says:

    Holy smokes that’s good! It has a Jane Kenyon feel to it for me (a grand compliment in my book). I have a growing fondness for these short Asian forms–this inspires me to focus a little effort in that direction. Great work!

  13. The metaphor was so vibrant and the form was such a great support – not yet in the bones. I am supposing it’s then when patients might give up – when you feel everything is giving way. Love your work always, and this was no exception. Great to be reading (you) again!

  14. Linda Rogers says:

    Oh my is this a beautiful sedoka. It amazes me how the short poems can say so much more at times. Just wonderful!

  15. So powerful, beautifully and succinctly written… I marvel, this is a bit of what I tried to say with mine and well… you’re obviously a master. ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. oneofaclass says:

    Very nice sedoka! I guess we can’t have raspberry leaves forever…

  17. This lovely work resonates with me. My dear friend vibrant full of life, last year was given the death sentence (cancer) and died a month later. It is still hard to come to terms with it..

  18. All roads lead but to the grave; we just postpone the inevitable by our every day actions. Deep poem, Susan.

  19. emangster00 says:

    The allusion here is so prominent and striking ! Your message as well reminds us of how real death is indeed.

  20. Maggie Grace says:

    Raspberries and death…that actually sounds lovely. Penned beautifully and I too love how it can be interpreted a number of ways. I’m at peace with death but hope I don’t know and that it’s peaceful…like your writing. I’d probably choose lavender as a last scent if given a choice but raspberries would be my second. Beautiful!

    • Maggie, thank you! This was the result of a fascinating convergence of that image, plus what I was editing at the time. I love those gifts fromt he universe.

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