Writers embrace the lost art of using a typewriter, but have now morphed into the age of computers and file storage in the cloud.  Storytellers have recently evolved out of the practice of flinging their own feces at cave walls and smearing it about with a dull stick.

Writers speak in low, thoughtful tones, and everyone gathers around them at parties as they spontaneously leap into a wine-heightened progression of playful prose and insightful social commentary.  Storytellers are generally at the same party, twitching in a closet as they fumble about with an over-willing partner, or, more often, by themselves.

Writers concern themselves with things like “form” and “vocabulary” and “grammar”.  Storytellers concern themselves with wondering why writers are such total twats.

Writers create impossible tangles of prose that often result in them having death sentences pronounced upon them by enraged religious sects based on a three-word phrase that they…