No sweeter meat was ever marketed,
wrapped tight and packaged,
shiny for delivery; use by dates
coded in biological clocks
ticking DNA
chose your cut carefully
because what is soft
what breaks in us
shifts to sinew,
muscles with time
and can choke
with too big a bite.
No veal eater am I, but nice work nonetheless. 😉
😉 me neither, but I wrote this for International Women’s Day. Too opaque?
Okay, thank you for the key… now it looks wholly different!. Duh nelle.
Nah, not a duh, hon,. When it is a political post I usually put it out there, no subtlety at all,. This one is a departure for me,.
Nah, was me for not looking closer. It’s a nice departure. 🙂
Wow… Such powerful imagery! I was left rooting for the asshole to choke. Hahahahaha… This is a very potent piece of writing. I don’t think this is too opaque at all; if you put it into a context, it sends a very clear message!
Oh, me too on the choking part. Glad you liked!
I’m vegetarian but this works for me. I like the image of transformation of soft and cute to sinew. I like the word “sinew” a lot. It’s a strong, strappy and stringy word.
Thanks, Alice. I never eat veal. This actually is supposed to be a metaphor (or metonym) for child brides. Shoot, you are the second person who thought it was about meat. Methinks it needs a bit of reframing to make it clearer.
Changed the title. 😉
I didn’t get it for a sec. – very powerful.
Jules, thank you! Different approach to me for my political poetry 😉
Damn powerful. And I for one…would love to be the see them choke! Brilliant Susan and ps…i like this new bend to your political pieces…very much!
Yes, sis–still up!!! For the next 5 minutes, anyway. Glad you liked this. I am trying hard to go with more showing and not telling with the political ones, just like with my more “usual” stuff. Glad you liked it!
Wow! Wisely written, Susan. 🙂
PS: Please do have a look at this and share your sincere feedback after watching it.
http://myindividualinsights.wordpress.com/2013/02/21/official-release-of-obtrusive-hopes/
Rahul
Rahul, I will be glad to.
With a little age may come gristle yet still I whistle at the girl with a little gray. 🙂
Oh…you just won me over with that comment, Eric. Smiles.