They are what swim, what fly, what run;
they are the eyes holding firelight
in fear-touched hunger.
They are the plural as single and the one as many;
striped and spotted, feathered and furred,
scaled or catching hair against brambles.
It is what we are, the upright in the bestiary.
We are no more and no less
than these. Amber intelligence
blinks back at me as the eagle
strips her catch from its bones,
daring me closer to wingspan,
hooked talons, razor beak.
I have memorized the calculations
of a great horned owl skimming night silent,
adding the scrape of claw on gravel
and grass to rodent whispers
into his sum and swallowing it whole.
I sing coyote inked in packs
and running down prey
through woods I say I own,
but they are borrowed.
We say we are over them, but
they were given mouths
they were given voices
they were given breath.
If I say truth is elemental
then it is: I am no more and no less
than this thing that bleeds and gasps,
caught in the jaws of something larger,
a link in the chain that tethers.
awh, here it is. 🙂
marvelous work, Susan. love the last stanza!
Miriam, thank you! Darn thing has been hunting me for days.
This is absolutely brilliant. Wonderful!
David, thank you! This one has been nudging me for days.
Well – you have asked me to get critical, so here we go. I like the poem and central conceit, these are my thoughts…
They are what swim, what fly, what run;
they are the eyes holding firelight in a
fear-touched hunger dance. {flickering is implied and too obvious}
They are the plural as singular and the one as many; {I’d like this in simile, shown not spoken – or make it simple, singular is a bumpy word and needs to be smoother}
striped and spotted, feathered and furred,
scaled or catching hair against brambles.
{these descriptions could roll back into the one/many image – many hided/hidden many as one/many coats one carcass – some kind of thing so they both work for each other}
We are, the upright in the bestiary. {the statement it is… knocks the flow for me}
Utterly {no more no less – cliche – can it be shown, not said?}
only
Amber intelligence
blinks back at me, an eagle {the eyes are already implied}
stripping her catch from its bones,
daring me closer to her wingspan and curved beak. {replace curved?}
I have memorized the calculations {maybe equation? formula? are you trying to say you have the geometry of the bird – or you know what calculations the bird itself makes and have them memorised?}
of a great horned owl skimming night silent,
adding the scrape of claw on gravel
and grass to rodent whispers
into his summed eating, {nice}
and I sing coyote inked in packs {nice} chasing moon {not convinced}
and running down night {another night (owl) – synonym?}
through woods I say I own,
but they are borrowed. {yes}
We say we are over them, but
they were given mouths
they were given voices
they were given breath.
If I say truth is elemental
than it is: I am no more and no less {than? do you mean Then?}
than this thing that bleeds and gasps,
caught in the jaws of something larger, {nice}
a link in the chain that tethers.
Link in the chain AND caught in jaws? If so I’d make this something – put it there… I hold the tether with reached arms even as I am caught in the jaws of something larger… or howsoever}
And there it is 🙂
Thank you! Panda, you are just what the poem needed, in spots. I kept the upright in the bestiary because I want the flow to stop there for a moment. Thanks so much for you help with this 😉
Glad I could help 😀
You did. Sending a bear-hug via post…
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here is mine, i am not to happy with it though, will work on the theme a bit more http://franzad.wordpress.com/2013/01/16/behemoth/
great poem…love the 3 verse, you caught the feeling i connect with behemoth
lets do another prompt soon, loved the inspiration!
Thanks, Franza! Love what you did.
Nice ride. So on the mark. There are times I wish it different, that the way it all works acquire a benignity lacking.
Know what you mean. There is beauty there, though–of a violent, unapologetic sort that is innocent until we start to talk about the strangest of animals–us.
Thanks, Nelle.
Awesome
Thanks, Celestine.
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A voice for the voiceless, a plea to recognise and respect other life forms, a timely caution against human supremacist views of the animal kingdom! well done, Susan
Thank you, Noel. Yes, I was trying for an inclusive view, instead of our exclusive one.
The last stanza is also my favorite part of this poem. 🙂
Thanks, Jeremy. I have been reading a lot of Sheri Tepper lately, and it shows 😉
“I am no more and no less
than this thing that bleeds and gasps,
caught in the jaws of something larger,
a link in the chain that tethers.”
Posted a link to our Facebook page at: http://www.facebook.com/TheAnimalSpirits
Thanks so much for sharing it!