windows

I’m no window
but I do allow light
to pass through

this glassed body
a shining target for stones
to ping spiderwebs

splintering the surface
but only to almost broken
clinging to whole

letting cold in
where the heart pulses innocent
of streamed heat

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About Susan L Daniels

I am a firm believer that politics are personal, that faith is expressed through action, and that life is something that must be loved and lived authentically--or why bother with any of it?
This entry was posted in New Free Verse and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

68 Responses to windows

  1. claudia says:

    oh that first one is gorgeous…allowing light to pass through…love it

  2. davidtrudel says:

    You are not a window but a beacon.

  3. brian miller says:

    really nicely done on the chaining of these…and still maintaining their individuality as well….i guess its good a bit of the heart steam has a way out…maybe it will beat the cold out and find the ones that need it you know….

  4. I like the contrast of cold and heat in the last one ~

  5. Umesh says:

    Enjoyed reading this lune. Especially the first stanza πŸ™‚

  6. Tony says:

    Four beautiful Collom lunes Susan – a real pleasure to read them all again and again.

  7. janehewey says:

    wonderful motion in this, Susan. In and out and through. You bring the senses alive.

  8. Laurie Kolp says:

    Original… so creative. I love the light coming through glassed body.

  9. Miriam E. says:

    i am totally in love with the first one… so good!

  10. Blue Flute says:

    I especially liked the “spiderwebs” verse and the contrast of cold and heat in the last verse.

  11. nico says:

    This is nicely written, and such a great image of strength found in pain.

  12. Mary says:

    Lots to think about here. I like the idea of not being a window but allowing light to pass through. A worthy goal for all, I think.

  13. wolfsrosebud says:

    sweet… do like those spiderwebs… nice write

  14. Gosh this just flows from beginning to end beautifully, love the way you’ve pulled the form together. Very unique.

  15. they are all gorgeous, but the first my dear. wow

  16. rmp says:

    stunning…i love the opening lune, but there is something about that second one…. really lovely.

  17. A wonderful chain of lunes, with each verse reflecting and building on the theme of the other verses. The first lune is the easiest to like in its simplicity, but there is power in each, and the final lune pulses with the strength of that heart.

  18. Jeremy Nathan Marks says:

    I really like the way you joined your body with the window and also showed how there is life that is living -the spider web- on/upon both. That . . . is very nice.

  19. George Ellington says:

    Strange to feel such a verse as this, to feel in it a vulnerability, a surface that can so easily shatter. Be shattered. Be splintered. Yet the same metaphor applies to transparency, and a heart that strives for nothing less than clarity. And while that may be far from what you intended, Susan, it certainly works for me to think of it in this way. For there is indeed such vulnerability in a heart exposed. And yet, there is such beauty as well in the honesty of love.

    • George, that is exactly what I intended, and you read it exactly the way I wrote it. I was trying to express vulnerability/transparency in a tight form, and glass or something very like it was all I could think of.that would deliver the image appropriately. Thanks for the beautiful comment.

  20. cfbrown (ΰ€•ΰ€΅ΰ€Ώ) says:

    this is, hmmmm I like this, very beyond the words currently in my mind to express but i like this on a deeper conscious connecting to subconscious level. This goes to a place where i think the muse might live. I like this alot.

  21. marousia says:

    Beautifully linked

  22. nelle says:

    Windows can be many things, and on balance I rather like what they bring to us. Nothing good ever came from walling ourselves off, been there.

  23. Susan says:

    Oh yes, I feel the drafts, and i am grateful for them. But I also feel the narrator holding together, a little bruised, missing the spiders who helped without other sources of heat.

  24. Green Speck says:

    Wow … loved the intensity in your verses !!!

  25. kaykuala says:

    letting cold in
    where the heart pulses innocent
    of streamed heat

    Can almost feel the intensity of cold meeting heat! That strange feeling is creepy but sensuously lasting. Nicely Susan!

    Hank

  26. kkkkaty1 says:

    windows a great medium for poetry….great job!

  27. unfetteredbs says:

    great imagery. Love the glassed body..fragility yet light passing through. nice

  28. Beautifully done, Susan

  29. othermary says:

    Good metaphor with a fresh twist to it.

  30. ds says:

    Love the way you kept each separate, and yet continued as a part of the whole. Thank you.

    • Gabbie–again thanking you! The form is a “lune” which I just learned of–an american bastardization of haiku…This one a Collom haiku:
      3 words first line
      5 words second line
      3 words last line

      they are a lot of fun to write.

  31. The American haiku
    adaptation permits wonderful
    flexibility on length!

    and with more
    length one can
    do a lot!

    experimenting with monosyllabic words in this form should be a joy and a challenge!

    • I think you will do fantastic stuff with this form–and the words do not have to be monosyllabic, either! Love this form. Heh. Yes, length can allow for deeper explorations into the language πŸ˜‰

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