if I set this globe to scale
as an orange
then we are two dust motes on it–
no, even less than dust
perhaps atoms
on opposing halves and sides
of that orange
and how could that orange
allow awareness
between two very small things
to occur, those odds
expressed in angstroms
as all things atomic are
even the constellations
you might wish to meet me by
differ from the ones
I dream under
impossibility set to scale–
we are less than nothing
stretching that feeling thin
across a bloody ocean
to touch–
you are closer
if I pass through that orange
but matter has laws
I must observe in concrete
if not metaphor–
the orange is still completely orange
and we are still less than dust
drawn by a pull
stronger than gravity
and what drives magnets
I will not give a name to
but still somehow
we are spun fine
across oceans of water and salt
or orange juice
or blood
This is a response to Mike the Panda’s challenge to (this is right from the bear’s mouth and some of it triggered by a typo from me in his comments):
Our new challenge is this. Write a poem using apostrophe, the theme is saudade, and it must include the line “love across a bloody ocean” somewhere.
Yep, complicated, but it was Susan and myself who cooked it and she has promised to take half the blame
Apostrophe: a figure of speech in which someone absent or dead or something nonhuman is addressed as if it were alive and present and was able to reply.
Saudade: accommodates in one word the haunting desire for a lost love, or for an imaginary, impossible, never-to-be-experienced love.
Saudade rather lends itself to apostrophic writing so hopefully it’s not too much of a stretch. (and it gave me the chance to say apostrophic like I know what I’m talking about!)
Susan Daniels Poetry 
Clever – the blood orange – smart to never name it explicitly – sweet, the yearning and distance portrayed – splendid to have met across the oceans 🙂
–
The idea of a ‘poetry’ blog for us all (let’s see, yourself, me, crabcake, unfettered, face, kellogg, miriam, mimsy – so far (have I missed anyone?)) has been mooted. What think you? Re-inventing the wheel, or owning the means of production?
I like the idea of a central hub, very much. All for it! I would like to invite some other people who might (or might not) be interested, if that’s okay… Like Boomiebol, Noel, and Obinna. They might enjoy.
It’s C4C 4 Poets – a cooperative – we all own, assist and trust each others judgements implicitly 🙂
Unlike C4C – A simple blog is enough for the poetic back-and-forth required.
Gather their thoughts and see. If we’re all in, I don’t mind starting a blog etc. and then inviting everyone as admins (although they need only follow to get prompts if they prefer?)
I like the idea. Crap, now how to tell everyone at once?
Precisely the problem a new blog would be trying to overcome… the need is clear 🙂
Yes Do we do it via an invite to the new blog or try to get everyone’s e-mail. Crap. I know some e-mails, but not all.
Perhaps the best way is if I set up a blog. Then over time we can reply to folks and point them to it from our own blogs.
I think the blog needs to be private and invite only (even for followers) so only the ‘Iron Poets’ get the prompts and can offer ideas?
If we make several admins it’s doable.
Oh, I very much like that idea. Let’s go for it.
on facebook (yuck!)
oh, I know it sucks, but at least we stop yakking in the comments 😉
I will create it, and send out invites, and then they can each send out invites, etc… Whatcha think?
Okay. I’d like to have a go at designing a header image if that’s okay – unless you wish to?
If you set up the blog I’d advise not to do so on your site, but to make a new, free blog. Too risky to set-up a bunch of admins on your paid for site, and only admins can accept or make new users.
Good point. How about you set it up and do that thing you do so well with headers… Then I can jump on in and start inviting people.
people, you are awesome! this is a wonderful thing you’re doing – i am so excited to be invited! wow…
I can’t wait to get it started. We have birthed the blog, now all we have to do is get it cleaned up enough for invites to go out.
so cool…
oh, and it is a double apostrophe–both the blood orange and something else never named explicitly, and was part of the prompt 😉
Now now – don’t start showing off! 😀
LOL, the fact that the blood orange was an apostrophe was accidental… I did the other on purpose. Damned muse. Let me put her in the corner for being so cheeky.
crap, it’s a triple–Stu found the third. STOP ME.
oh wow..this is just wonderful…love the whole idea of it…and the feelings…stretching that feeling thin
across a bloody ocean
to touch–… awesome write susan
Claudia, thank you so much!
intriguing verse…it is interesting how connections happen in this world…the net has def opened that up a bit…i think of the rich friendships i would miss without…even if we are mites of dust on opposite ends of the orange…we are drawn together somehow…and that is a bit of magic to me…smiles.
Oh, it very much is magic, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
Now that’s a way to open a poem, “if I set this globe to scale
as an orange
then we are two dust motes on it” – you set the scene for this apostrophe straight from the outset. I love the tone and feel of the speaker throughout, and references back to that orange and the dust, “the orange is still completely orange
and we are still less than dust”. This had such a curious “completeness” to it too. Great stuff!
Oh, Gosh, thank you so much.
this is wonderful, perfect response to the prompt!
Thank you, Kelly!
Wonderful poem. 🙂
Oh, my, thanks so much.
This is wonderful. So clever. The bloody ocean: what a metaphor,,, And now I see, that as usual, mine is all wrong…I didn’t follow the rules…back to the drawing board…:-)
Oh honey, we all bend those rules a bit! Let me come see what you did…
I’ve added the missing line now! I just get so carried away!
ooohhhh interesting!…i LOVED getting into this, ad the concepts. The use of the Orange (a blood orange) to symbolise the earth? and our smallness as dust, but the power of connection as overwhelming despite this….juice as blood…this is COMPLEX, but i love poetry like this…there re depths to be discovered…ive probably missed a load here…so…gong back for another read!
Oh, Stu, thank you I am so glad you like this.
you’ve taken a deep dive here, Susan. your language usage is beautiful and expansive. Happy New Year, to you!!
Jane, thank you, and HNY right back!
susan, i absolutely adored this!
“you are closer
if I pass through that orange
but matter has laws
I must observe in concrete
if not metaphor–
the orange is still completely orange
and we are still less than dust”
i wish i could peek into your brain and see how it is you come up with such great work. you have some magicians working up there, don’t you… 😉 great poem!
Oh, gosh, I am now a tomato. You have now entered the produce aisle, with all these oranges and tomatoes.
My brain is a very cluttered, crowded place that needs some organizing. Miriam, you are the best!
please do not touch the stuff lying around you labeled as ‘clutter’ – if it results in poems like these, the clutter you speak of is diamonds.
Miriam, thank you. You are wonderful. Okay–I will not ditch it, but it could use a good dusting.
heh, only if i can smack myself for messing up with the plural and diamonds situation i screwed up above! lol but i see you got the gist… 😀
Read right through it (but I fixed for you).
you are a doll, thank you!
Panda will NOT fix the one in his. Oh well, it lead to a great prompt 😉
hahaha
Susan this is lovely! I often do feel like a dust speck.
Thanks so very much… I do feel small, when I see myself in scale 😉
Excellent, Susan. I like this very much. This is my favorite part:
“and how could that orange
allow awareness
between two very small things”
Jasmine–thanking you so much!
To me it feels like our poetry community has made the world about the size of a golf ball…maybe a pea. I love the connection!
Oh, Victoria, I so agree with you! I love it…
Beautiful, deep, and creative. Great take on a prompt that would have stumped me.
Oh, Nara, thank you It was a tough prompt–but one generated through my own fault by a typo, and them I had to complicate it further by suggesting we use apostrophe.
What a fabulous response to the prompt and the prompt was complicated–so much pull in this piece for me–that is a great bit of writing!
Audrey, thank you so very much!
Simply entrancing I like others want to peek into your brain) or can I just borrow it for the Apostrophe Challenge? I promise I won’t need long!
lol, well I need it to make dinner, so can we swap brains? I need something to keep these hands zesting lemons, etc 😉
And thank you sweetie! I have 3 apostrophes in this poem–and only one I did a-purpose.
I choose dinner anytime in place of trying to match your skills Sus! 🙂
Oh, now–you can cook up poetry and culinary stuff, I bet.
I entered – heaven help me yep cookin’ and writin’.. like breathin’…. 🙂
🙂
How ’bout this–for apostrophe–think about what you are writing about–love for example–and then do NOT under any circumstances use that particular word.
Oh ….easy….. 😦
but thanks for the tip…
I can but try 🙂
Ok read this again and slightly confused – what’s new you say- the challenge for the apostrophe – we have to include the word love don’t we ..ocean? 😦 The daft one now retreats.
Honey, you are not daft at all.
Less than nothing…I prefer to believe size matters not. 😉
LOL, nor does it!
Nice!! Very well done!! Liked it, very much so!! 🙂
Katie, thank you.
“you are closer
if I pass through that orange
but matter has laws
I must observe in concrete
if not metaphor–
the orange is still completely orange
and we are still less than dust”
This is effing brilliant. Pardon my swearing, but….wow. I mean, the whole poem is brilliant, but this passage…there are no words since we are speaking in terms of scales. Love it! 🙂
Oh, gosh, Heather, thank you!
Isn’t it amazing how these two motes of dust – two atoms on the surface of an orange – are able to connect with each other through the power of the information superhighway? I for one and glad that we can, because without the Web I’d probably never have the pleasure of reading your words.
Tony–thank you, and yes–I love that this can happen.
so much feeling is held in digital suspension
Lucy–thank you–yes, that’s it–overwhelming feeling spun out across an impossible stretch.
“even the constellations
you might wish to meet me by
differ from the ones
I dream under”
And yet, the meeting happens, beautifully problemitized in this poem so we can get goose-bumps from it!
Susan–thank you–you got this 😉
Really wonderful capture of the idea. Nicely done.
Terry, thank you so much! I think I have felt enough saudade to know it rather intimately 😉
Wow, this is some poem! Every line is wonderfully done, and the images you used are just right.
Nico, thank you
I doff my headgear to you (yes, my scarf, as an African) This whole business of apostrophe and saudade is a difficult one, Susan. Yet, you manage it with so much finesse. You are that good, and I am proud to know you. 🙂
Celestine–oh my! I am matching my tomato breakfast this morning 😉
You are so very kind to say so! It was fun, playing with those words/ideas, and saudade is something I have experienced. Beautiful yearning.