losing by degrees (what we don’t give up)

there are degrees of loss,
of forgetting & misplacing
that span a hunt for car keys
to that final tearing away of death

we need different words
for separations because some
carry more weight,
like that yielding
we call sacrifice
& own only in the process
of giving up

i have exchanged passion
for a flicker under my navel,
loosed this heart to fly,
and it returned eventually

but what he asks
is to lose myself in a laying down
of this us, trade eyes for buttons
& mouth for ribbon
sewn tight to my face

voiceless & unseeing

****loss free write for OctPoWriMo

***Okay, I was going to send something else to Dverse today, but this is the one I am sending; despite my tweet to the contrary 😉

Advertisements

About Susan L Daniels

I am a firm believer that politics are personal, that faith is expressed through action, and that life is something that must be loved and lived authentically--or why bother with any of it?
This entry was posted in New Free Verse, octpowrimo prompt and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

51 Responses to losing by degrees (what we don’t give up)

  1. Your words speak volumes and touch me deeply. Peace to you.

  2. janehewey says:

    Wonderful thought-provoking poem, Susan. “I have exchanged passion for a flicker under my navel.” I know this line will follow me around for days. We must keep our eyes, voices, and navels ALIVE.

  3. rebecca2000 says:

    Hmm sad but great job! 🙂

  4. Green Speck says:

    A really touching poem … loved it !!!

  5. The Enfant Terrible says:

    A precision-perfect placement of words. I have to say, I prefer this, Susan. It is thoughtful and INTERESTING. I love the themes you explore in this piece. I vote for this one!

  6. ayala says:

    Touching and sad!

  7. brian miller says:

    whew….that closure is breathtaking…the trading of the buttons for the ribboned face…loss on several levels in the silence….i like the bit on having different words for it as well…

  8. kelly says:

    oh, that image at the end just breaks my heart. yes, sometimes, it is too much. turning a blind eye and living in silence… powerful imagery

  9. ruleofstupid says:

    Hi Susan… cripes but I keep wanting to give you a hug after reading your poems lately… Box of kleenex, bottle of wine and copy of Dirty Dancing in the post to you 🙂

    • Mike–you are wonderful! I am not falling apart over here in WNY, just being (sometimes brutally) honest. The wine & the Dirty Dancing might just brighten me up, though 😉

      I am thinking I had better gentle it up a little bit–someone else sent me some gorgeous music the other day to cheer me up.

  10. Mary says:

    “Voiceless and unseeing” – now that would be a painful way to live. No relationship should expect that.

  11. Gay Cannon says:

    The opening provided so many directions to go that thoughts spun in my mind like satellites through space never expecting anyone could think of they could sew you (of all poets) into a rag doll. Who is this who didn’t get you? Devastating close deserving a rebellious answer!

  12. Gay Cannon says:

    ehrr should be “that they”…changed wording midway through. Please forgive.

  13. annotating60 says:

    I liked the idea behind the poem and you fleshed it out with a delicate brush.>KB

  14. loved the range you spanned with this poem.

  15. Trent Lewin says:

    I have to wonder where all this comes from. I mean that in a complimentary way, Susan. Motivations are interesting, not as interesting as the words, but close.

  16. ManicDdaily says:

    Very strong poem . k.

  17. dang…strong images in this…we need different words
    for separations because some
    carry more weight…so, so very true…

  18. jmgoyder says:

    This is heartbreaking.

  19. nelle says:

    As always, your perspective, delivery, and message so enthralling and provocative.

  20. Beth Winter says:

    Degrees of loss grabbed me. There are things that cause me consternation, melancholy and flat-out bawling grief. This emotional analysis is pure poetry.

  21. So very powerful and poignant…loved both how it opens and ends especially…thought provoking write…thanks

Comments are closed.