we live a
question, punctuated
by
madness curving into
an ease of marks, ideas of
reference
the . that stops a murder
of
crows, so
they drop (stunned)
where hanging
flights of ideas flock &
fly south, in
loose associations
migrating &
leave me
reeling out lines of
winged heaviness to
catch nothing
***Enjambment is the challenge at Dverse today. Come and twist lines with us!
Susan Daniels Poetry 
Ha! This just confirms the hugeness of your talent Susan. Well put. I am going to stick this one onto my desktop. Plus, you have provided an answer… I appreciate that.
Trent–the least I could do, since your write inspired this! Thanks much.
Much much appreciated from my end.
“madness curving into an ease of marks” is brilliant.
Wow–thank you, David!
Wow. There are a lot of different ways of reading that.
🙂 I loved the complexity wrapped in these simple lines
EXCELLENT! I am so impressed. Your wordplay is magnificent in this piece. Well done!
Oh, thank you, Soraya. I had fun with this. Any credit or blame has to go to Trent, as he inspired it with his flash fiction that I am calling a prose poem today 😉
Ah, I will have to check that out! It really is a great piece of writing. By the way, I posted about that tag you passed on to me. lol.
Checking it out now–you are already making me blush…
You awe me daily..sometimes multiple times a day! What gorgeous words lovingly constructed into a terrific piece..
Oh, Mimi–thank you! I had fun with this…
I suppose the (In)sane think we are all crazy and they are the only ones unaffected. I really enjoyed all of it but, love the use of the . to emphasise the line ..as if it could stop a murder of crows.
Brilliant writing.
Oh, Bren, thank you! I think the insane think they are sane, just as you said 😉
It really does change up the dynamics of the poem (enjambment). Enjoyed this!
Thanks so much! I had fun toying with the words…
Very much creates the feeling of insanity, anxiety…the enjambment plays a huge role!
🙂 thanks, Victoria!
nice…really cool line breaks in this…great opening line….we live a question….i like that much…the leave me jumps out as well later on….i like the period stopping the murder of crows….i might have moved that of to the next line to emphasize the murder and make it jump out more….
Cool idea–and thank you. I will play with it a bit. I do like the . Right smack in the middle, though. Trips you up 😉
Nice use of word break! thank you for sharing this
Thanks, Chris!
Those last three stanzas, just perfect. It was a pleasure reading!
Oh, thank you, Nico!
Really enjoyed this, the form and love madness curving into marks, ideas of reference…it moved so well to a great conclusion.
Oh, thanks very much Dianne!
You are amazing!
Aw, thank you, Julie. Now, I am blushing…
Very nice enjambment… I like the way you’ve used it to create that choppy feel in some places whilst running on in others.
Thanks, Holly–I really had fun with the technique, and might explore it more later.
Enjambment often feels manipulative and strained. Here is seems like the only way to communicate your message. Natural and effective.
http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2012/10/18/her-the-steampunk-version/
Thanks so much, Kim. Loved yours, too!
&
leave me
reeling out lines of
winged heaviness to
catch nothing…. really cool…and cool work on the enjambment as well
Thanks, Claudia–it was fun!
Oh yeah. Love these:
“fly south, in
loose associations”
“leave me
reeling out lines of
winged heaviness to
catch nothing”
Oh, thanks much!
I must say, I am not a fan of enjambment — especially with only a few words per line. I makes my eye too busy, the breaks disrupt the flow so I can’t even follow the poem. So I experimented regrouping your words — it helped me a little — though the loose association was still a bit vague for my weak poetry mind. But it helped:
we live a question, punctuated by madness
curving into an ease of marks,
ideas of reference
the . that stops a murder of crows,
so they drop (stunned) where hanging
flights of ideas flock & fly south,
in loose associations
migrating & leave me
reeling out lines of
winged heaviness to
catch nothing
Is that a different poem? Yeah, but at least I wanted to read it a few times. The first form was too painful for me — maybe just because my brain is older.
Sometimes it helps to let go and look through the eyes of the artist. A different perspective gives us depth, a singular track not so much.
Perhaps my desire to capture madness and anxiety worked too well, here 😉
🙂 I like both versions, Sabio!
You indeed are Brilliance personified !!!
Thanks–goodness you all are embarrassing me! 😉 glad you liked.
This is wonderful ~ so evocative
Thank you, Polly!
winged heaviness to
catch nothing
Magnificent ending. Puts the seal on a poem of distinction.
Thank you, David. Wow, appreciate your comment.
cool..cool…and cool….ah yes so comes the lines…..loved this…
sreeja, thanks so very much!
lovely 🙂
Glad you liked!
I like it just the way you created it.
Thanks, Nelle! I like the choppiness of my version, think it adds to the meaning.
i am enjoying lingering inside of this philosophic poem. flights of ides, winged heaviness. and your line breaks are downright sublime!
Oh, Jane–thanks so much! Glad you liked.