these are not the skinny jeans
folded on top of the closet shelf
i think i am somehow going to wear again
& they’re not the mom jeans
roomy enough at the hips
no. these are the genes
that supposedly make little girls
want to play dolls, or house.
i played dolls with my sister.
her charlies angel doll was marrying grizzly adams
for the 20th time when I said to her
out of nowhere–do you want to get married
her of course made me snicker
not me, i’m just gonna have
lots of boyfriends
i never craved babies like chocolate.
i never sighed with that force of yearning.
the mommy gene never fit
but the love, the love happened
the second i saw her flickering there
on the ultrasound
the reason for the missed period
& the ensuing chaos of choice
somersaulting on the screen
i may have never wanted children
theoretically, but her,
her dancing there, an inch under my navel
& innocent of location–
her i wanted
mommy genes were never tangled
in my DNA. the mom thing
was not born with me
but chosen
Susan Daniels Poetry 
You should get published (sorry, you probably already are!)
Julie–thank you! Not published yet–except in blog land…
Well you have a wonderful collection!
Thanks so much, Julie–working on the publishing as we speak 😉
Yeeha!
I see myself in this poem Susan. I thought I had a favorite poem from your amazing collection…but this has got to be in my top 3… I get it…I understand it. I live it. I applaud you on this Susan.
Aw, Boomie–thank you!!! i live it too 😉
jeans to genes. to jeans. i enjoyed this Susan! I loved being pregnant, all three times, I loved birthing, I love parenting. I am beginning to love jeans as the air gets cooler. thank you for this write. It has taken me to the past and back again.
Thanks, Jane–me too…Interesting what triggers memories…
I saw the “mommy gene” thing on the news this morning. How I wish that I had written this poem!
thank you! Hit me that quickly, it did…
So sweet.
What a wonderful present for your daughter. (The poem and having you for a mom.)
Aw, thanks, Georgia!
Jeans and genes … You are too good a poet … hats off to you 🙂
Aw, thank you….blushing!
and now she holds a camera and tries to capture a tree trunk surrounded by a blue sky and draped in green leaves, her feet washed by the gentle murmurs of a flowing brook! Good choice!
Oh, I agree, Noel. Like there would be any other choice for me–it was love at first blip!
even before the blip! 🙂
hee, hee. Yes. Should not sacrifice honesty for the sake of cleverness, should I?
That’s really beautiful – and more powerful for motherhood being a choice.
Thanks, Holly. I agree. Can’t tell you how many times I heard as a child — “I never wanted kids, anyway…”
I will never be able to say that to her, that’s for sure…
I was really curious on what you’d fashion out of the story… you nailed it with the personal. Perfect.
Thanks, Nelle–to twist around one of my favorite women’s quotes, I’ll leave it as “one is not born a mother, but becomes one.” 🙂
NICE
Know what the best thing about this poem? Was having my Z read it, laugh where appropriate and then give me a huge hug at the end…sweet girl that she is!
double nice then…
The exact feeling. I was not mommy programmed either…but would not trade one single second of my life since. awesome sfam.
I feel you, Rhonda!
Excellent play on words. My sentiments, Madame.
Celestine–thanking you! Glad we share the sentiments, too!