your lower lip pouts outward
sweet lure for biting
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Susan Daniels Poetry 
You write so much 🙂 it’s just I am too ignorant about poetry and too lazy to go through. But I can feel the feminine air here…
This one is sweet. I would take out the first line and make it the title. Trimming a bit so every word counts.
I would trim the first line, but then it wouldn’t be a haiku anymore 🙂
As an aside, I didn’t write a word for 17 years, so making up for lost time!
it’s all fine to practice and exercise even with zen as long as you love what you do
then it’s play it’s fun then it’s zen :))
🙂 I am all about the play and fun with the daily haiku exercise I have been doing–it is great discipline for me, as I am sure you have figured out I am rather on the “wordy” side 🙂
Sadly, as I was using this poem for haiku heights, I had to stick with a 5-7-5 or a 3-5-3 format–I think your suggestion to trim the title does make this little poem so much better! Going to do it now that the date has changed 😀
Look at that–so much nicer!
short but long in meaning and suggestivity! sweet lure for biting or nibbling? Bite suggests a passionate and physical intensity! Tough to decode, I must confess!
Actually, Noel, I was playing with passion and mixing it all up with fishing metaphors 🙂
So, if I bite, he catches me….
so, you are safer nibbling!
too right 🙂
Very vivid ! Good job Susan !
Thanks Deb!
loved this
Thank you 🙂
Lovely and vivid
Thank you–I loved this little poem–thanks for reading back in time 🙂