(a)Wake

He was with me
in the sunlight pressing blocks
into carpet, heat kissing the tips
of his black shoes shiny while I played
the shoelace game
with my small fingers
always unraveling
his knots–

and then
he wasn’t there,
but dead,
a new word for me

meaning that grandfather
eased out of his skin
and left it empty,
the way cicadas do
when they outgrow it,
escaping that too tight feeling
to spread wings.

Before then, I thought
you climbed those steps to heaven
wearing your skin
all the way to God;

not leaving a husk
like something breathed out of it,
not that naked.

Posted in New Free Verse | Tagged , , , , | 54 Comments

Survivors

From Project Unbreakable http://projectunbreakable.tumblr.com/

There is choice.  We can die
from the shame of what is done
to us.  We can wear the names
like letters branded into our skin
and quietly disappear,
become the nothings
they say we are, banished and vanished,
or we can wear our own words.

We can show them
women are not sheep.
Girls are not fruit.
There is no shearing of hair
or reaping a harvest from us.

We learn through breath
the difference between being a victim
and becoming a survivor
is subtle, delicate
before it grows strength:

That shift across the line
of being versus agency
is a thing danced, not learned;
sidestepping guilt and spinning it
back where it belongs
with something simple as a lifted head,
a turn around to shout back
at what is muttered under breath,
or the woman who did not stand in shame, wordless,
but blocked a door 
shouting for police,
while another filmed the man
who pushed his penis against her in the subway.

Silence is death.
We must live no
until it is heard,
and shout yes
where it is needed.

Posted in New Free Verse | Tagged , , , , , | 63 Comments

White Space and Gray Matter…

Rhonda's avatar50 Shades of Gray Hair

I never thought, when I began blogging, that so much of my white space would be devoted to the subject of rape and sexual assault and abuse

After all, my blog is not called

“50 Shades of Retribution”

or

“50 Shades of Horror”

It’s called 50 Shades of Gray Hair

And as I write that last sentence, I realize I’m doing exactly what my tagline suggested I was going to do

Exploring my own 50 shades of gray matter

And in exploring what tickles me and ticks me off…this matter happens to be one big, fat, hairy, gray one

Matter that took me more than 45 years from the start of it to face, speak out about, seek help for, and begin the process of forgiving myself by working to place the responsibility where it belongs

Not in the heart or on the soul of a 5-year-old, 6,7,8,9…19 year old girl!…

View original post 294 more words

Posted in New Free Verse | 4 Comments

A Paycheck Away From Hooverville

for the house

You do not speak for me
when you argue who gets fed
or who gets medicine,
playing rhetorical Russian roulette:
the barrel against the temples of children
while you shape the next talking point
about stamps and pills, as if
your cupboard has ever been empty,
or you had to choose between medicine,
heat, or food.

The only gun control I want
is your finger off that trigger,
unless you make it a real game
of roulette and aim that gun
at your own head.

Posted in New Free Verse | Tagged , , | 26 Comments

Frankie’s Poem (ballad form)

Die with it in you, were the words he cried
and so I bent voiceless to that noose,
tighter round my neck than ever my tongue was tied,
keeping secret what other women loosed.

The words they say I sang were never mine.
If I could not tell why I swung that axe,
how could they let me sing a song so fine,
such pretty verse, strung sweet by a hack?

What words could I own, or others know
to speak of the pieces of him they found,
scattered over acres, hidden in holes
I dug shallow, in hard-frozen ground?

I carried those secrets of love, death and birth–
the blood of them heavier than iron
with me into air, and freed into earth,
which takes everything, and learns

All we know and do not speak, my naked
bones not caring what eats fossilized pain
or reads out loud the voice of it,
scribed in the center of old bone.

Based (loosely) on the story of Frankie Silver

This is (kinda) a ballad, poking fun at another ballad.  I stuck true (sort of) to the form, until I broke out of it in the last stanza.

Posted in New Free Verse | Tagged , , , , | 53 Comments

authenticity

My grandmother baked bread
on Saturdays, her kitchen uncluttered
by those plastic bags prettied with
red/blue/yellow dots
bubbled like foaming yeast.

She used to say
you could believe in her butter,
and her bread was free of wonder.

 

***A while ago, at dVerse we were supposed to write about advertisements, sort of, and this is what I came up with–late, of course!

Posted in New Free Verse | Tagged , , , , | 7 Comments

A Day in the Life of Bestselling Author Trent Lewin (aka Let Us Pray)

No actual water coolers were harmed in the creation of this story… Or were they? It’s not talking, but I thought it had a rather self-satisfied glow to it at the end of the story.

Posted in New Free Verse | 7 Comments