Lois (Alzheimer’s poem #7): Scrabble & Sunday Crosswords

I used to sit
under the table cross-legged
while my mother & grandmother
solved the Sunday crossword in ink
or locked up the board
playing Scrabble.

Later, I joined them
& learned the joy
of contorting words
into new forms;
addictive game
that had to have a winner,
but losing to a finer mind
was equally sweet.

When birth pains started
for my daughter,
my mother brought Scrabble
& we played until
I could no longer spell;

then, I knew
it was time to go to the hospital.

That was what she lost first.

One day, she would not play Scrabble
with me;
around the time
she shifted from reading novels
to skimming magazine articles.

Even then, I knew
I was losing her
by tiny degrees,
bit
by bit.

Posted in Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's disease, New Free Verse | Tagged , | 2 Comments

XX

XX:  No, not the rating
for porn flicks, or a row of kisses
on a love letter–
the chromosome that divides us
as a species into 2 rough halves.

I don’t want to say female,
I don’t want to say woman,
I want to use DNA,
which has no context beyond
its helices;

simple biological prompt to a body
that, if it lives long enough,
grows breasts & a place
for babies to build;
the matrix borrowed
from those XX bodies.

Made no better or worse than XY,
just a different kind of being;
inside a form that does not scatter eggs
on creek mud for fertilization,
but expressed in a body
that carries life, feeds
& nurtures it
when somehow

(it is a kind of magic,
birth;
though it is a violent
& bloody one)

what was once
connected
by that long rope of blood
pushes free & is named.

That somehow this XX
once encoded
marks its carrier vulnerable,
less valued,
but still property,
to be bought & sold,
traded;

sometimes stoned for saying no,
or, at times
for saying the wrong yes,

how the XX
body is at times
circumcised
to the point of death
for the sake of society,
or chastity, or beauty;

or how XX feet
were bound to an exact degree
of smallness, so they could never run
& barely walked in tiny steps,

& how those XX carriers
are not ruled by mind
but passion, unfit
to have a voice
that is taken seriously
is a global madness
transcending culture.

So, is it genetics
and landscape that define us,
or is it that damned apple
that made us both fall
that rules us?

Don’t forget
he tasted it, too
and knew the cost.

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haiku 04/30/2012–Siamese #2

thin question mark tail
constant movement behind him–
what is he asking ?

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Lois (Alzheimer poem #6): How to write an S

the kitchen table
was our battleground:
if I could read at 2
then surely
I could create an “S”
at 3, she said

& I
shaped them backwards
or slumped them along lined paper sideways,
like snakes trying wildly
to escape.

I give up, 
she said to her mother,
who then told me
a story of a long country road
curving down a hill
in a perfect S

since that story
I have had no trouble with S’s:

see, I wrote 3 of them
& 1 was uppercase
when I signed her
Power of Attorney

that’s why
she wanted me to get it right
all those years ago;

so I could sign my name
next to
where she put an X
on the line
where her name should be

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earth women

for Nancy

Yes,
we fight
& love
our men
with a vengeance

it is because
we know the slow passage
of silent rivers
moving underground

deeper still
the volcanic pulse
of molten gold & iron

the spin of the planet
on its axis
as she dances
around the sun

all this moves us
to walk quietly;
what seems solid
beneath our feet
is violently & volcanically alive

we remember earthquakes
& eruptions
in our bones

Posted in New Free Verse | Tagged , | 6 Comments

my sister’s ghost

Twice
I saw her in dreams;
the first time
I carried her
weightless
in a basket
on my back.

No one saw her
but me,
& she wrapped her arms
around my neck
& murmured in my ear
how to care for
those she left behind;
specifically,
& in great detail.

This was my responsibility,
she said,
as I was the carrier
of her bones.

The second time,
she called me
out of a dream;
one moment I was having coffee
with my mother–

the next,
I excused myself
and walked through a wall
to meet her
in some other place
made of light.

There,
she told me
my shouting out to her
past death
was a distraction,
a pull
she could not resist.

She told me
love &  longing
were 2 sides
of the same feeling
& to feel it gladly,

but to stop
reaching out
for her
& instead
let her bones  rest

in the quiet earth
as her spirit is rocked
in the arms of God.

Then
she said
you have to leave;
your body is waking up,
& she released me

I wouldn’t call what I did then waking.

I fell into myself,
& my eyes
were already open.

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the elephant in the room

the elephant in the room
none of us want to talk about
is trumpeting morals
like he invented them

he is for saving the unborn
& eager to kill them
when they grow up–
call it war or capital punishment–

he’s all for chucking science
out the window
and teaching adam & eve
in the classroom

(in matters of faith
whose truth do you honor
in a nation like ours?
Why, the elephant’s,
of course).

the elephant
we won’t talk about
is sitting on unions,
on women,
the poor
& on gays

he’s all for you keeping your gun

so you can shoot yourself
when you get sick–

it’s cheaper that way.

Posted in New Free Verse | Tagged , , | 31 Comments