your fists
shatter mirrors
punch holes in walls
& you with
bleeding knuckles
slam your own face
into a door
to prove
what
(?)
that what breaks you
inside
to sharpness
is your heart
breaking
& you must
keep milling it
to the point
you suck pain
from an acid tit
& go look for more
still hungry
you grind
that glass core
further into flour
your daily bitter bread
that cuts
when you swallow
unmaking yourself
while trying to shake
the world
into something
as damaged as you
the doors you kick down
will never
open to anywhere
you want to be
so stop trying
***here you go, Jeremy. Inspired (sort of) by Jeremy’s poem on violence, here.
Susan Daniels Poetry 
“The door you kick down will never open to anywhere you want to be.” Susan, this whole poem is an anthem for nonviolence. So obvious the person who resorts to violence (either physical or verbal) will fail and ultimately hurt themselves. The unfortunately truth is that sometimes, it’s a child’s face on the other end of the fist, or a partner’s… Achingly good write, Susan. Peace, Amy
Thanks so much, Amy. Yes, I agree that the violent person is going to ultimately hurt themselves–and hope to God another person is not hurt in the process. What triggered this poem was the thought that a person who acts out in violence (by breaking people/things in the world around them) is ultimately broken inside. Thanking you again for your thoughtful and heartfelt comment.
Also, for some reason, Zoe’s header didn’t show up until after I posted my comment. Hmmmm. It’s a lovely picture. That girl knows she is loved. A
🙂 thanks, Amy. The full portrait is on my “About” page. I love what she does with pastels and paper–or anything and paper 🙂
Susan, you definitely “know” my neighbor. I think my favorite stanza is:
to the point
you suck pain
from an acid tit
& go look for more
still hungry
That is right. I am convinced that what we were treated to yesterday was yet another cry for attention. It wouldn’t have happened if she did not know that we were there.
I like this stanza in particular because it really does encapsulate the void in someone like this and their thirst, their desire for pain, for violence and for affliction.
Yes, Jeremy. It is something that makes me sad, when it does not make me angry. I am ashamed to say that usually, I am too angry to feel any sort of empathy for a person like this.
You know, I don’t feel much empathy either. In this particular instance (my neighbor) I pity her children.
Absolutely, Jeremy. They cannot get away from her, from it, and are the victims here. Hopefully, there are adults that can step in and help them.
I don’t know. Not from what I’ve seen of their step father. He’s not at the level of his wife, but he’s pretty horrible himself. From what we can tell he is afraid of his wife and just avoids being at home at all cost. . . and of course this does not help the children at all.
I hope for the sake of those kids that someone steps in.
Agreed.
And I should add that what I mean by “cry for attention” isn’t the pain of someone young and innocent, but of someone who trades in hatred and gains sustenance from acid, which is why your poem really gets at the truth of what we have been witnessing.
Exactly, Jeremy. In a way, the energy expended in adult violence is similar to what one would see in a toddler, embodying their anger fully, but so frightening in an adult body with this pathology in it. Anger without innocence, uncontrollable anger that must be acted out, is a dangerous, and potentially deadly, thing.
Yes, no one has the right to savor their anger when nothing can survive in its shadow. And from what I’ve witnessed, this particularly anger carries a long and deadly shadow.
It does. I could say more, but will save it for some other time and place. It is too close to how I grew up to speak to here.
I should also say thank you for linking to my poem. I meant to do that. 🙂
🙂 you are very welcome. Also thanking you for triggering my muse 🙂
I’m happy to do it!
I love it when you tackle such emotions, so conjuring of real human feeling. As you so often do, your words generated another earworm for me, by one of my top three favourite artists.
http://youtu.be/_Dvl6usllqw
Nelle, thanks so much for commenting. Glad it spoke to you. Also, thanks for sharing the song–it is beautiful!
very moved by this susan – well said – thank you
Kyle, thank you so much.
this touches where i don’t want to be touched, but no one could do it better. arrrrrgh
Oh, honey–sorry. Had a few ouches in here myself.
Bravo!!!
Thanks, Boomie 🙂
I can relate to this shamefully – was a long time ago
Hey–some of us grow past it 🙂
nicely done susan. it certainly is all around us.
Thanks, Don–and yes, it is.
You capture all the destructiveness (self and external) of the person who responds to a crisis by fits of violence. As you beautifully point out with poignancy, such violence leads no where – it simply possesses the victim and slowly eats him/her from inside and enlarges to the external in the form of uncontrolled and unproductive physicality!
I am reblogging
By the way, I had treated the theme of GBV in one of my songs though it is not as successful as yours.
http://visionvoiceandviews.wordpress.com/2012/04/04/a-song-against-gender-based-violence/
This was one of the first things I ever read by you, and I love it! What do you mean, not as successful as mine–it is so powerful and sad.
Reblogged this on visionvoiceandviews and commented:
a critique of violence as a response to crisis!
Thank you, Noel–I am thrilled you are sharing this!