the words you bring me are sweet
shapes fanned, folded and pleated
into origami hearts
I unfold these paper hearts
and smooth them to what is sweet
at the center, love pleated
should love be pressed and pleated
twisted into still, formed hearts
or should it fly free and sweet
your sweet singing pleated hearts freed
***for dverse
nice..really love origami…lovely images here and good question in your last stanza..you can fold them in a way that they can fly i think…smiles…beautiful…
I love the origami thoughts and, agree with Claudia, fold love into paper planes and let them fly. Love should always be free, shouldn’t it
Oooo–paper airplanes work well, too! Thanks for commenting on my self-torture (oops, I think I mean tritina).
Cool. . . .talking as you fold, a good time to conjure poetry that flies!
Thanks much, Susan!
nice….how cool a love note in origami hearts….dont know if i would want to unfold afraid i could not get it back you know…smiles…i think there beauty in that and love that can fly free…i think there is art in both…
Thanks so much, Brian. Agree there is art in both!
Delightful, Susan! I especially love:
should love be pressed and pleated
twisted into still, formed hearts
or should it fly free and sweet
Lori–thanks so much
Rally loved yours…flowed so smoothly.
Love and set free
Exactly!
Excellent use of the form – each stanza unfolding a bit more – the metaphor working throughout as well. I love your end-word choices. The images so poetic; the craftsmanship so deft!
Gay, thank you so much!
The imagery in your poem is fabulous. The theme contains true depth, and the question you’ve asked deserve a sincere answer.
Thank you, Jessica. Glad you liked.
This is wonderful. It reads just like folding origami. Impressive job with the form!
Emily–thanks so much!
Great choice of theme…origami is so delicate. Very nicely done metaphor and form.
Aww–thanks, Victoria!
This is such a touchingly beautiful poem. You used just the right words to help the reader visualize, and as I finished reading, my mouth mouthed “Awwwwwwwwww.”
Thanks Mary
I like the origami heart, twisted and pleated, then flying free ~
Thanks so much
Wish I saved all the things my daughters created. I have some, and each I treasure.
So cool–neither of mine have done origami yet. Can’t wait!
I feel your words folding onto each other, themselves an origami! A unique take on the theme – the wonderful thing about a blank sheet of paper is that it can be folded into anything, a heart, a butterfly, a paper plane – like love itself, which is endlessly adaptable.
Samuel–thanking you so much! And yes, love is in itself mutable/adaptable.
Well written !!!
Thanks much!
Sweet scented write. Nicely crafted.
Thank you, Sharon!
Enjoyed the clever use of origami and pleating.
David, thanks so much!
What a wonderful extended metaphor! I really enjoyed the flow of this poem. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks so much, Tony!
This could only be directed to your boy!
Well, you can certainly read it that way
Well, how clever are you? This is fab ~ nice tone ~ clear subject ~ well done you say I who have failed significantly in this task
heh-heh
Polly–thanks. I kind of think it sounds a bit forced.
It’s like you said Susan, when you’ve worked hard to get a poem into a recognised form it can sound forced, but that it seems is part of it. Mine didn’t sound so much forced as totally tortuous, it’s the only word I can use … I may return to it over the weekend at some point but I’m thoroughly fed-up with it just now so I’m ignoring it in the hope it will write itself (!)
You know–sometimes the little buggers do that, while we’re sleeping, and we wake up with the answer…
I have always wondered on the intricacies of origami. You’`ve done so well to fold and ‘weave’ your poem, Susan!
Hank
Thanks, Hank.
oh, lovely~! origami is a treat of a subject for this form. you handle it preciously.
Jane–thanks so much!
love this!! that heart had all the layers and sometimes hearts do fly away because they are just never found.
Thanks, Don–glad you liked!
lovely
Thanks, Celestine.
beautiful. my fingers itched to turn those hearts instead into butterflies. made me think of a recent post I read on My Modern Met.
oh, thank you! Checking it out now…
AWESOME link–thank you!