origami feelings (a tritina)

the words you bring me are sweet
shapes fanned, folded and pleated
into origami hearts

I unfold these paper hearts
and smooth them to what is sweet
at the center, love pleated

should love be pressed and pleated
twisted into still, formed hearts
or should it fly free and sweet

your sweet singing pleated hearts freed

***for dverse

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About Susan L Daniels

I am a firm believer that politics are personal, that faith is expressed through action, and that life is something that must be loved and lived authentically--or why bother with any of it?
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53 Responses to origami feelings (a tritina)

  1. Claudia says:

    nice..really love origami…lovely images here and good question in your last stanza..you can fold them in a way that they can fly i think…smiles…beautiful…

  2. I love the origami thoughts and, agree with Claudia, fold love into paper planes and let them fly. Love should always be free, shouldn’t it :)

  3. Susan says:

    Cool. . . .talking as you fold, a good time to conjure poetry that flies!

  4. brian miller says:

    nice….how cool a love note in origami hearts….dont know if i would want to unfold afraid i could not get it back you know…smiles…i think there beauty in that and love that can fly free…i think there is art in both…

  5. Laurie Kolp says:

    Delightful, Susan! I especially love:

    should love be pressed and pleated
    twisted into still, formed hearts
    or should it fly free and sweet

  6. Love and set free :-)

  7. Excellent use of the form – each stanza unfolding a bit more – the metaphor working throughout as well. I love your end-word choices. The images so poetic; the craftsmanship so deft!

  8. Jessica says:

    The imagery in your poem is fabulous. The theme contains true depth, and the question you’ve asked deserve a sincere answer.

  9. Emily says:

    This is wonderful. It reads just like folding origami. Impressive job with the form!

  10. Great choice of theme…origami is so delicate. Very nicely done metaphor and form.

  11. Mary says:

    This is such a touchingly beautiful poem. You used just the right words to help the reader visualize, and as I finished reading, my mouth mouthed “Awwwwwwwwww.”

  12. I like the origami heart, twisted and pleated, then flying free ~

  13. nelle says:

    Wish I saved all the things my daughters created. I have some, and each I treasure.

  14. I feel your words folding onto each other, themselves an origami! A unique take on the theme – the wonderful thing about a blank sheet of paper is that it can be folded into anything, a heart, a butterfly, a paper plane – like love itself, which is endlessly adaptable.

  15. Sharonlee says:

    Sweet scented write. Nicely crafted.

  16. David King says:

    Enjoyed the clever use of origami and pleating.

  17. Tony says:

    What a wonderful extended metaphor! I really enjoyed the flow of this poem. Thanks for sharing.

  18. This could only be directed to your boy!

  19. Well, how clever are you? This is fab ~ nice tone ~ clear subject ~ well done you say I who have failed significantly in this task :) heh-heh

    • Polly–thanks. I kind of think it sounds a bit forced.

      • It’s like you said Susan, when you’ve worked hard to get a poem into a recognised form it can sound forced, but that it seems is part of it. Mine didn’t sound so much forced as totally tortuous, it’s the only word I can use … I may return to it over the weekend at some point but I’m thoroughly fed-up with it just now so I’m ignoring it in the hope it will write itself (!)

  20. kayluala says:

    I have always wondered on the intricacies of origami. You’`ve done so well to fold and ‘weave’ your poem, Susan!

    Hank

  21. janehewey says:

    oh, lovely~! origami is a treat of a subject for this form. you handle it preciously.

  22. doncarroll says:

    love this!! that heart had all the layers and sometimes hearts do fly away because they are just never found.

  23. rmp says:

    beautiful. my fingers itched to turn those hearts instead into butterflies. made me think of a recent post I read on My Modern Met.

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