for beauty’s sake–original and pantoum

Standard

So–this is a poem I wrote back in 1985 originally:

A flowershop rosebud opened too soon
your petals crumble to ash
in my palm

traces of gray I carelessly brush
from my fingertips

***and here it is reworked into pantoum form, just for fun.

false as a flowershop rosebud
forced open too soon
your petals dry and crumble
in my palm

forced open too soon
past blooming and palled
in my palm
scent blown off  by breath

past blooming and palled
traces of gray
scent blown off by breath
I brush from my fingertips

traces of gray
your pinks dull to ash, as
I brush from my fingertips
a bloom unfit for keeping

your pinks dull to ash, as
your petals dry and crumble
a bloom unfit for keeping
false as a flowershop rosebud

About these ads

21 thoughts on “for beauty’s sake–original and pantoum

  1. Rhonda

    You know what I’m going to say. I love you original for the thought…I LOVE the new one for the form and the added beauty. You rock this form SFAM.

    Hey, like this look better too. Doesn’t take as long to load either. lol

Comments are closed.